Yesterday I was awakened by the phone shrilling at 7am.
I snorted awake, mid-dream, probably drooling, and ran downstairs to pick it up. Normally, I'd ignore a wake-up call like that. But I thought it was Kathleen phoning from her father's place. She'd been there overnight, and had a cold, so I wanted an update.
It wasn't Kathleen.
Me: "Urmmummbleummmmmmm. Hello?"
Caller: "Oh, I need Anthony. John woke me up this morning and said I'm heading off to The Labrador today, and I don't remember a thing about it."
Caller (obviously Doris): "They say I'm going to The Labrador, but I don't know a thing about it."
I shuffled in a confused state back upstairs.
Me: "Your mother called."
Anthony (toothbrush in mouth): "About wherler vpaoytht va?"
Me: "She's really kooky today. She thinks she's about to be whisked off on a magical mystery carpet ride to The Labrador."
Anthony: "Oh No. What did shdhher say aborlkut dfgj rcqr qa?"
Me: "She said that Fred and Sam were taking her."
Anthony: "Mrgllmmpphhhhh" (no toothbrush in mouth at this point).
Later in the day, my mother accosted me and quipped that I shouldn't be mad at her for disturbing my sleep.
"What?" I asked in my usual stunned overtone.
"Well, you came in my room last night, and woke me up. You said my snoring was keeping you awake." Sally looked pleased about it.
"Mom, I didn't go into your room last night. I didn't hear you snoring."
I could tell by her look that I'd said the wrong thing.
"Well, you most certainly did!" She glared at me.
"Oh. Right. I must have forgotten. Yeah, you 'll have to keep the snoring under control Mom."
It's just easier to lie. Way easier.
Maybe my mother should go to The Labrador with Doris. I shouldn't be able to hear her snore from that distance.