Monday, March 26, 2012

Just When You Thought it Couldn't Get Any Worse...

OK, when we last discussed the insane colour/pattern schema of my current workplace, I just bet you thought to yourself: "Phew! That's some bad. I just KNOW they couldn't POSSIBLY throw in yet another colour/pattern to that slatternly mess!"

Well, you thought wrong! So wrong! On both counts!

Let's start with the new pattern. I'm saving the colour for last.

So I was hanging about, pretending to flip through email on my BlackBerry device as I walked about CubeLand (while actually just taking a break from my desk in order to avoid the crunching, munching, lunching sounds from my neighboring cube-troll), when I looked down. Here's what I saw:

Yes, I know. I couldn't believe it either. Let's move in for a closer gander:

I lack words befitting this abomination. I'm sure you have correctly recognized the ever-present, mind-bending fraggly green striped carpet. But the chair!!!! What the hell??!! Let's delve even more deeply into this puzzle:

If there were a God, I'm sure she would not have ever allowed the creation of fabric like this. Especially when placed next to  the fraggly green striped carpet. So: proof we live in a God-less vacuum.

But WAIT: I want to show you the wide shot for the full effect:

Oh yeah.

I'm telling you, I just about lose my lunch on a regular basis around here. I get sea-sick if I don't squint my eyes mostly shut while running from one cube to another. Getting to the bathroom without emptying the contents of my stomach - a bathroom which is at the far end of the floor from my desk - is a real accomplishment.

Ok, peeps. The final coup-de-grace. The intro of yet another bold stroke of colour. So, what do you think it's gonna be? Think hard: we already have pink, green, purple, teal and a number of motley shades meant to resemble mauve. What would add a nice finishing touch to all that?

Why, lime-green, of course. BRIGHT lime-green:

Now, that green, in-and-of-itself, is not the end of the world. It's actually kind of funky. It could be used for a nice accent tone in a beige room. Or to add fun and pizzazz to a child's room.

But Mother Of God, when you are familiar (as you are) with the total colour scheme I'm looking at as I swivel my head about here in Kookytown Gov-land, you know this was not the wisest choice of chair colour.

I need a good wide-angle lens to capture the full glory of it all for you. Maybe I'll just try and borrow one and get a really good shot of EVERY SINGLE COLOUR and PATTERN all together. For your enjoyment, of course.

This is all in the service of YOU ;)


  1. Wow - I'm almost tempted to pin this to Pinterest. Right next to some Martha Stewart board somewhere....

  2. Hee hee! Well, I'm just doing my duty...pointing out fashion fox-paws so derision may rain down. Who knows, maybe someone will LIKE this stuff and actually incorporate it into their home decorating themes :)